They say it is not easy being a woman in India.
Well, being a man is no different either, my dear. Any type of men.
If you are a gay men there is still no law that protects you against casual raping.
If you are a straight men.. Well. Where to start. You are a stalker, you are a stag, you are hit by bouncers at the club regularly, you never get free drinks.
And you are surrounded with feminist “experts” who can scientifically dissect at least 100 ways in which you or your Tinder profile or your ways of “hitting a girl” sucks.
And where else on earth would there be a book called The Ugliness of the Indian Man? That’s right, only in India.
Good luck being a genuine man in this hostile setup.
Did I mention Tinder profiles? That’s one of the places Indian women find it most erstwhile to attack the simple innocent Indian man.
Great that you brought that up, because we, the raping, gawking, stalking men of India have something to say about your Tinder profiles too.
No hookup (exclamation mark)!
Girls come on. We are getting it. But one line being repeated mechanically over and over again.
You expect us guys to be intriguing and interesting on that first meeting? Well we can say the same for you.
At least apply an extra ounce of brain to come up with your own custom type of No-hookup line in your profile description which is not Copy-Paste of another, clearly hotter than you, girl’s Tinder profile. Do you realize how boring this lack of efforts looks for us guys?
I am looking to meet people for business purpose
Oh, is that so? How convenient. Well perhaps you will be better off on LinkedIn. Stop fooling around girl.
All pretty faces, no stories
You deem us creatures who don’t look beyond face or pair of boobs? You are plain wrong.
The moment we meet you, we crave hearing out stories more compelling than ours.
But all we get is the same old plain thing – Not much, grown up in a small town, traditional parents, school, job
Straightforward guys may be a boon in disguise
A friend of mine narrated me the following story.
A girl he matched with on Tinder got matched with another guy few days ago.
The guy asked her for sex and she hated that he is being so straightforward and direct in the first minute itself. That solidified her conviction that Tinder is a shitty app after all.
Then she matched with our current guy and the conversation proceeded on an incredible awesome note.
Morning and evening the chats and the greetings moved on which doesn’t happen often on Tinder.
A week later the girls sends the guy a long message on Twitter saying that they had an amazing conversation, one of the best she ever had with anyone on Tinder but things will not work out for them, hence she is stopping it right here.
The guy was devastated. So the first guy sucked for being too direct. Now I also suck for being nice? Well what it is about then?
Maybe Tinder isn’t for kids after all. At least the former guy might have been better at whole this and saved himself valuable time with his direct approach.
Unmatching guys that don’t text you
If you demonstrated half of this dedication to clean your CRM in the company you are very proud of working at, you would have been declared Employee of the Month.
Unmatching guys who haven’t texted you in a while clearly shows that you are attention seeking little girl still playing with her dolls.
It is not about sex!
You persistent denial that No way, there is no way this is about sex, is mind boggling. It makes you so ridiculous.
When you use Tinder in USA for example, the possibility of both sides being here for sex is placed opened on the table and no one makes a big deal out of it.
But you Indian girls with your clinical ability to dissect sex from love and engaging 4.5% of your little brains to persuade yourself why they are different is just legendary.
When was the last time you checked the calendar and today’s date?
17 Comments
Thoroughly true.
Seldom realized.
And this has been the case since a long time now.
But the sad part is, this remains a small blog entry. And even sad part is even if it reaches its audience, no girl is going to change her age old opinions and start behaving in a different way from tomorrow.
Probably that’s why there is less content on suffering Indian men.
And the ignorance power of us men is so high, that we don’t seem to even care about it.. probably because we know and accept that nothing is going to change..
I believe everybody has a reason to behave the way they do. I do not understand why we treat “gender” as a mass discriminating factor. We all know girls will never be boys and guys will never be girls! (Actually some may be vice versa) but thats besides the point! I have seen profiles of guys with “no hookup, friends only, looking for like minded peoole, here for contacts and many more such statuses, and never been judgemental about. The stories you are talking about, sweetheart, wake up, you are on tinder! Did you just not say, it is about sex. Also, instead of piling up, its better to be focussed, whats wrong in unmatching guys! (Oh my God, someone is really touchy about being unmatched!)
Anyways, it would have been fun if you would have really explored Tinder and got some good matches. But looks like you did not! All the best, I wish you meet someone who changes your perspective. Right now the perspective sucks.
Out of 25 matches i got.. Only 2 were actually open and independent.. Rest all sucks and described.. And he didn’t mentioned one more category of girls who are there just to increase their insta followers.. . That’s pathetic..!
Seriously girl, a big FUCK YOU!! I am not on Tinder. But I was once, matched to a few, never got any reply back, for anything I typed there! Maybe I would have if I had shown my earning, who knows. They still dis not unmatch me, keeping us like trophies to show their friends.
I also believed it is fine to not look for hookups and sex. Bt now I’ve realized and let’s be honest about it, you are on tinder and you know what everyone is here for, so stop living in delusion.
And maybe I’m a forever alone guy but I’m better off with my friends that attention seeking whores.
“You know what everyone is here for” NO. Don’t.
Also, what is stopping you from unmatching? Clearly you like being the trophy you think your matches treat you as. Move on, grow up. You’re not entitled to anything. Just because a girl matched with you, does not mean you’re entitled to sex from her. Or anything, really. Be respectful. Be nice. Or be forever alone. Your life, your choice. Just respect others choices to make from their lives.
Ok this is where the misogynistic attitude comes up. In a country like India a women spends most of her life believing sex is bad, you should not have sex before marriage, you are slut if you sleep with more than one man especially if he is not your husband. Even in this tinder era the same guy who wants to say I am here for the sex rejects that very same girl for marriage because she is not a virgin. So no I girl does have every right to be confused on what a man in India really wants.
Look at you. You might have been on what 5-10 dates and already assuming that all women have the same old boring story, they hate sex and want to play mind games with men. Maybe for once you should stop judging women and assume that everyone is different and not everyone likes to tell all their stories on the first date.
If you are talking about this can’t work out wala story maybe she might have a reason that might go beyond the way you look and hence she felt to talk to you a little longer than she talked to the guy who just wanted to have sex.
You might have had your fare share of bad experiences and trust me women have had it much worse in the Indian society(again not judging all men just the society in general). So just cut each other some slack and enjoy what you have at the moment and not blame the opposite gender. We have seen our fare share of awkward dates too just don’t blame 3/4th of the tinder population for it.
I understand the opinion of the women who posted above. But I guess you guys dont understand some sarcasm. Obviously this doesnt apply to 100% of all Indian women. But it certainly is much more than 50%. Even if we let go of statistics, the point being made is not wrong. I have always wondered why you would come on Tinder to make friends? Facebook is there to help you. It even gives more robust data and will help select much better than Tinder. Why bother with Tinder? Obviously you want men in your life and preferably someone close and interesting. Unless you are an attractive introvert woman with no guy friends, the reason for using tinder is very clear. What makes you think this statement will filter out guys who want to be more than friends in case you genuinely want only that? I mean it’s common sense no?
How do you make friends on Facebook? Send friend requests to some random guy? Yeah, right. Don’t know a single girl who’d do that. Don’t know a single girl not frustrated by unsolicited shit messages in the other folder. I use Tinder - a lot - so I meet people I wouldn’t otherwise meet, possibly make friends, possibly date, possibly hookup, possibly marry - WHO KNOWS how it turns out eventually. Depends on how the conversation goes. I like the freedom to unmatch and the fact that I don’t get shit messages from guys I have no remote interest in (swipe left).
The reason for using Tinder is NOT “very clear”. Don’t make assumptions. You can use it to find whatever it is you’re looking for. That’s ok. You’ll find someone looking for the same thing, That’s cool. Definitely swipe left on my profile if you don’t like the “statement” in the bio. That’s ok. No judgment. Common sense.
Agree with pretty much everything you’d said. Guys on tinder really need to learn that it’s not the girl’s obligation to give him sex. That he isn’t entitled to anything. And Tinder can be used for anything. And in India it’s marketed as an app that is for meeting new people rather than for hookups.
But that’s mostly a way of advertising the app, since hookup apps can’t be advertised in our country.
But I’ve got to disagree with you on one count. Facebook is so much better at being friends than Tinder, simply because it’s designed for that. Whereas Tinder is designed for hookups (No matter how they market it in India). Ofcourse every individual is free to use the app however they deem necessary, but it just makes more sense to look for more interesting people elsewhere.
Misogyny is so deeply ingrained. Also hon, it is about sex yes, it is just not ‘only’ about sex. Hypocrisy is cussing and dissing feminism and expecting gender parity.
The problem here is not that the guy was direct. If, as girls,we are taught to reject the opinion of having sex with more than one guy,the same society is responsible for upbringing you too as a man. The thing that gives a shock is hypocrisy. You at one hand. Can’t handle a girl saying it’s offensive to be direct on sex, would never expect your prioress being open about casual sex. This hypocrisy makes a girl believe that the guy us a jerk. If a girl, grown up in such conservative environment is not ready in a go,she finds it difficult to understand the same about the guy who is so direct. It clearly gives the view point that the guy is judgemental and objectifies women. Had he Bern genuinely open about casual sex,he would have tried to figure out if another person respects the same or no. And would have been okay to give ample time to this physical start. If not, he will be judged.
I’ve been using Tinder regularly. I must admit many of the observations are true, but only till you chat with them. Once you meet them, almost all are good. Among probably 25 girls I’ve personally met via Tinder, except 2, all were very good overall. Some were just fabulous conversationalists and some, without a speck of doubt, were sizzling hot and also cute to talk to. Yes, the phase from matching till meeting might be a little pretentious but after that it’s pretty straightforward. Regarding the 2 examples of direct asking for sex and the second being too nice, both are stupid ways. You’ve to read between the lines, hear beyond what she says. As a woman above says, and I completely agree, it is about sex but it is not ‘only’ about sex. You’ve walk the middle path - have patience, talk, know, see where it is going, whether you both are comfortable or not and then sex will happen if it has to. Pushing only for sex is not done. Had you been a woman, you’d have also felt like a slut if you were directly asked for sex. Come on! One last thing I’ve realised that even the women writing hateful posts about the entire male gender (which is so hypocritical - this is also gender discrimination), are actually not that hateful - we’re just used to using strong expressions against gender. So, nothing to judge, have patience, meet them, see if it clicks, if it does, have fun and a friend. I’ve over 12 good friends (out of 25 I met) and 5 really close friends who are really special. They share every damn thing about their life. Finally, girls on Tinder or off Tinder, are the same - just like guys - it’s just that our methods are different. We’re all human beings after all, just a change in genitals can’t change much, can it?
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@tinderella : can’t agree more with all you said. Tinder is about the way we use it.
Live and let live. And guys can unmatch on Tinder too, if it bothers them. Good words and well said.
Strange ends do affect both genders equally though (sex or no sex). Absurd endings where no explainations are given and the girl simply jumps to a conclusion that she wouldn’t wish to continue (or in a few cases, block or change numbers after say two months of conversation) , especially when it’s going very good is strange. Dumping a guy after having sex with him twice (while she initiated everything and he simply backed off since penetrating hurts her) and then deciding it was rape (simply because she thought so) is an example of weird ends !