Ahh, not again!!
My eyebrows have grown up like a bear. It’s time for one of the dread parlour visits.
I hate visiting that place not because I end up paying my pockets off, but because my parlour lady is one judgmental woman!
If you ladies are sailing on the same painful boat as I am, then you know the pain.
Yes I have pretty thick moustache and I’m proud of it, not because I am hiding myself below the cloak of independent free woman but because I don’t give much shit to what others think.
I remember how in school my guy friends used to joke “ye mooche tune banvayi hain ya inbuilt hai”. It was offensive at that time, hell it still is.
But body hair has never bothered me much. And it is not like I have a full grown stache!
The way my parlour lady asks me about the last time I got rid of lip’s best bud, I feel like digging a hole into the ground and disappearing forever.
Because you know what aunty? My lips get lonely sometimes. And sometimes I just like running my finger on my upper lip, marveling at the sweet little moustache I have.
Even though she knows about my hectic schedule and tiring work life, and that I visit her almost every 15 days, she makes it a point to ask me that dreadful question. Ugh!
I mean why on earth do I have to bear her naughty smile when it comes to bikini wax?
My aunty always wants to know if it’s my special night tonight. Wait, what?
Dear Aunty, even if I am planning my sex tonight, you are not invited. So, kindly keep your hormones in control.
I still remember the first day when I visited her especially for the bikini wax. I wasn’t confident enough to ask her in exact words. So, I chose to ask her indirectly – Aunty aap waxing karte ho kya..umm ..har jagh?
Although, she very well understood my question but she couldn’t afford to miss her little fun.
She laughed a bit and asked- “Bikini karvana hai kya?” I nodded my head because I did not feel like talking much. For some odd reasons she got too excited, as if she was the one who was getting laid that night.
While heating up the wax she couldn’t resist and asked-“aaj kuch special hai shayad” (including unwanted wink). I answered firmly-“No no, it’s for me only”.
She had a quick response with her devil laugh-“Madam sab yahi bolte hain”.
I did not feel like getting embarrassed much so I preferred keeping quite. But can’t a woman groom her body for her own hygiene?
Is it necessary to get yourselves shaved only when you are expecting some late night activity on your bed? Cleaning my body is my choice and not a reason for getting judged, dear auntie.
The society wants you to be hairless. Hell, it wants you to be so hairless that even the TV ads for razors don’t show a woman’s leg with hair! Hair is scandalous, hair can bring on the apocalypse.
As much as I am pro body hair (like I mentioned earlier with my love for my moustache), I like to wear sleeveless clothes with my underarm and arms shaved.
I also understand that I endure so much pain (financial and physical) just to fit society’s arbitrary standards of beauty.
But the tragic subsequent revelation that hits me is despite knowing all that, I have no idea how to stop.
It’s hard being a girl. It’s harder when you have to go to the parlour. This issue might not be worth starting a campaign against these aunties but ultimately it all roots down to the major issue- Being judged at every step of your life.
I mean c’mon at least spare my hairy legs!
