Ohh yess..yessss.. yesss…shhhhhh!!!!

Ahhh that feeling, I am sure a lot of you were able to relate to the above words. If not then please start watching some good porn.

Life was so much easy when the ultimate excitement was jerking off by watching Sunny Leone in incognito mode.

When the only person who had to be kept satisfied was you and size never really mattered.

Yes, I am taking about the golden teenage time when Freudian sexual concepts fitted well with our lives.

Masturbation is great—when you’re 13. When you are the captain of your own ship.

But after that if you have to resort to touching yourself, it calls your very worth as a sexual partner into question.

We got a hint that we have grown up when we stopped enjoying helping ourselves and the need for a real partner arose. Because we were too bored of listening to our own moans and big tits just seemed too fake as the hanging silicon bags failed to bring much pleasure.

It was time for some real action to begin!!

The difference between jerking off with your hand and having sex with a gorgeous woman is like a difference between watching a high-speed car chase on TV and Being in a high speed car chase in real life.

Masturbation? Ha—it’s only make-believe!

We like our sex to be real—there’s more adrenaline, all your senses are on high alert, and your heart beats faster.

You can masturbate seven times in one day and still be fully functional—you’ll wipe up, lift weights, go jogging, get groceries, take a walk near the river, pet a stranger’s poodle, engage in idle chitchat with a group of tourists, read a book—but the minute you have an orgasm from intercourse, you might find yourself snoring until dawn.

It is because post-intercourse orgasms might flood your brain with enough endorphins to knock out an elephant.

Although even after regular dose of sex, guys still look for an opportunity to masturbate because their hands never get bitchy.

They never nag about taking out the trash, or give you shit because you forgot its her sister’s birthday, ordered the most expensive drink at the bar eight times because it knew you would pay for it, never woke up with bad breath in a shitty mood and yelled at you because you reminded it of its father, and—most importantly -these hand have never rolled over, turned away, and refused giving you sex.

Your hand never ruins the mood just by existing in the same room as you, so sometimes the orgasms are always better with your own hand.

Men are selfish in bed and that’s not a debatable topic, it’s a fact.

Cumming early than the female partner is not a skill it’s something that you are born with. But, holding it till your lady love reaches the same level is definitely a skill.

If not a skill then a gesture which makes you more like a gentleman even during your dirtiest encounter.

And by dirty I mean the one in which you are a dog and she is your horny bitch. If you are one of those who zip up their pants the moment they are done then that’s not sex my friend, it just another form of masturbation not with hands but with a wet pussy.

Pleasure is not in the physical penetration it’s in the moans and the screams of your partner which increase with the level of satisfaction.

We don’t look sex as a way of mutual satisfaction, it’s more like a mechanical process to us where even consent has no role to play. I’ve always thought that a woman’s consent is a lot like her clitoris. It’s like… right there, you know? Front and center. Unmissable. Like the clitoris, consent is kind, gentle… easy to understand. And yet, we insist on treating it like the elusive, sometimes-confusing, often frustrating, G-spot.

We call ourselves animals but we don’t even fall in that category when it comes to sex because animals very well know how to satisfy their partner.

We have evolved ourselves into robots who does not gives a shit to the others need because “time kam hai ham logon k paas”. In this mad rush of life we have stopped enjoying the little pleasures of life.

Love making was later called as sex because ‘love’ was no more the pre- requisite of sexual acts, which further became biological intercourse and now it is more like a smart and less time consuming act.

It makes me wonder whether the next app in the market will somehow help us to satisfy ourselves even without the physical act of sex coz ultimately itni mehnat bhi kyun karein when all you could do is- download an app which might fuck you and leave you completely satisfied for days.