The heartbreak of unrequited love. The pain of walking alone. Watching that someone with the ‘other’ someone, and you curse the universe not making that ‘other’ someone you.

You know so much about that person.

You understand that person so well…what he/she likes…you watch that ‘other’ person feed the love of your life food that is spicy as fuck.

What the fuck are you doing?? He doesn’t like so much spice in his food. You fucking blind girl? You been with him for so long.

And then you imagine yourself sitting there and thinking – if I was there I would have made your life beautiful.

I’d have made sure you eat what you like every single day. When you don’t get what you desire, the mere thought of having it makes you value it more than your life.

Dear Unrequited Love,

How I wish I could wake up with you every morning and look at you first more anything else.

Dear Unrequited Love,

I do wish there were days when I would take long walks with you and talk about life, my thoughts and feelings.

I wish you would hold me in your arms from behind and envelope me so close that I could feel your breath in my neck. So close…

Dear Unrequited Love,

I do miss you every day, even though the sight of me doesn’t stir anything in your heart, how do I tell you that my breath begins where your ends. Every time I see you my heart stands still and time stops.

I look at you and try to capture you in my eyes like a photograph because the very presence of you in front of me works like monsoon showers on a barren land. A few days go by in peace without me burning inside.

Dear Unrequited Love,

I wish I could tell you every day what a beautiful soul you are.

I wish I could tell you that I notice all the little things you do to help people, how considerate you are of everyone else’s feelings and put your loved ones first and not yourself.

I wish I could tell you that I notice how when someone hurts your feelings I just want to explode like a volcano on them.

Dear Unrequited Love,

I wish I could tell you, you are a dream…a dream that I want to be inside all of my breathing life…even though I do know the inexorable reality that as of this moment you are waking up with someone else.

I wish I was that person who was feeling the warmth of your body on mine, your hands running on my naked body and how it assures me… the warm wet kisses that make me desire you like crazy, hearing the sound of your soothing voice, smelling your skin as I would be so close to you…I know it is not me. I know it is not me.

Dear Unrequited Love,

Even though the love I have for you is as deep as the ocean, it is equally painful so much so that it almost drowns me.

But as of this moment, every feeling of this pain makes me feel alive. At least I know what I feel for you is real.

Dear Unrequited Love,

I wish I could tell you that I notice how you are not treated your worth, how your feelings are crushed sometimes, how your heart is not understood along with your intent…and that you deserve more.

I notice how compassionate you are and you do the little things around your house even though you are so tired, be it cleaning, cooking, getting stuff from outside, helping out your friends with things that are so unrelated to you…

I notice how when someone just looks at an empty glass of water before they say it you get up and bring the water for them. I notice how you take care of how the other person likes their food before you cook for them, even though it might not be your taste.

I notice how you would wake up late at night for your loved ones to help them even though you are dead tired. I notice how irritated you get but still don’t say anything to the person in front of you because you don’t want to hurt their feelings…so you continue to be in discomfort…I also notice how all of this goes unappreciated. I notice everything.

Dear Unrequited Love,

Even though you have chosen to not be with me, I hope that whatever you do you are happy, because it is not love if it holds you down, it is not love if you don’t feel the freedom with me, it is not love if you cannot be your beautiful self.

Even though I convince myself that I might find another you, here is another unsympathetic reality, I know I will not. And I hate the universe for it. I hate it because my existence starts with yours and ends with yours…but yours doesn’t.

But you know what is the beauty of such unrequited love?

It is mine to keep and to feel in my heart forever. No one can take this away from me. Not even you. Not until I permanently fall asleep.

It is a gift that I give to myself which I have kept in the corner of my heart…safe.

I don’t know whether tomorrow you will realize that I exist…but in the meantime, I will hold the feeling of you in my heart, like a delicate flower that is so precious and rare, but so fragile, to be protected like it was the last of its kind.