Are you watching porn?

So do we!

And because we whore together with our couples and fans for bad or worse, we go where they go and crash where they crash.

Presumably, the land of Kamasutra enjoys some porn here and there we decided to join yet another party and advertise StayUncle to Indians on some of the largest porn sites on the planet.

Little had we known that the knowledge we gained in between will enlighten us in many aspects. The insights were so profound that even caused changes in our workplace setup and structure

Here we go:

What type of porn Indians prefer?

Who needs that polished stuff anyway? White meat? Forget about it. Silicon boobs? Whatever. Twerking ass? Bitch please, that thing ain’t real anyway

The standard Indian prefers to stick to the basics. The good old amateur porn does the job. Because nothing matches the occasional extra kilo or some hair somewhere you almost forgot it used to grow.

The beautiful land of India is not short of queerness either. Gay porn constitutes a significant portion of the viewership.

What more does the government need to change that dreaded Section 377 when almost 1/8 of it’s population likes it queer. Can you help us showing this to a politician?

And we are not even remotely done with the queer part:

The chart above shows the clicks on the StayUncle ads from the various category pages. Here we can clearly see that Indian people seem to click on gayporn as equal as they would click on any other type of porn

Now we should really show this to the government? Are you with us guys? Section 377 you are doomed!

When do Indians watch porn?

Woooow wait. This can’t be happening

The most preferred time for Indians to watch porn is morning till afternoon. You know straight after having your pooja or eventually after completing/skipping your breakfast.

Who would have guessed. Wasn’t midnight the preferred time for these things? It used to be like that in my time. God, I am feeling so old right now.

The chart above further caused us to change our working timings for some of our uncles in the office.

If Indians spend morning time to watch porn perhaps it is better off if some of our teammates are allowed to come to office later on when they are (really) ready to work.

And guess what. Most of them agreed 😀

Who watches porn the most!?

This insight was not obvious and we decided to dig for some creative means to get the picture

We decided to check the devices from which people clicked on StayUncle ads. And guess what:

 

Waaay to go iPhone users. You are the undisputed porn watching champions of India.

When we go further this doesn’t act too much surprising either. iPhone users tend to have greater purchase power, are more liberal, tend to be more educated, better employed and in other words – They just don’t give a fuck!

Speaking of technology, you might want to spot this one too:

This was another surprise for me.

My initial guess would have been that Indians mostly use their own 3G connections to watch the blessed movies.

But it seems that public wi-fi networks are most utilized type of connection. So next time you see someone at a Café Coffee Day staring at his phone, do not just assume he or she is innocently Whatsapp-ing someone.

Here is a working recipe for you singles. If you wanna get a partner, it’s best to give it a try around morning when Indians are most horny, do it in a public setup and preferably target those with an iPhone in their hand. And having few extra kilos or some extra hair here and there won’t hurt either.

Because numbers don’t lie 😀