Everyday I am meeting a new kind of an asshole.

The best thing about being divorced is that milk-milk-water-water filtration of people happens PRETTY FAST.

The variety of assholery is just amazing! Infact, it is beyond amazing, it is like actually paying 3000 rupees for a buffet meal and discovering that each dish is five days old and you have no option but to eat it.

Here is a skunk that I have been meeting for a while and he has been friends with me for a while too…not too long but a few months perhaps.

We have met each other in restaurants and gigs. Hi- Hello- this that - good food - good music - good friends - we meet his girlfriend as well- it’s all good. It’s all damn good.

We are all friends and everything. He is in his late 20s…nice educated guy. Nice guy to talk to talk well to and courteous as well.

Plans would be made to meet and he would text me or call up - what’s the scene, what are your plans this evening-lets do this - lets do that- my girlfriend is coming as well - lets catch up. Cool, lets catch up and all have a little fun!

So what’s wrong with this picture then?

I get a call from another common friend in the circle.

“Have you been hanging often with this guy?” He said.

“Not very often but a few times only, we just hung out with common friends and his girlfriend etc…nothing unusual. Why do you suddenly ask?” I asked.

“Please don’t hang with him anymore…he has been saying weird things about you.” He said.

 

“What weird things?” I asked.

Now this caller is a very trusted friend of mine who I can vouch for his loyalty towards me. I am a little amused and curious at the same time now.

“He has been telling everyone that you have been calling him up, you have been messaging him, you keep asking him to meet you…you know…’divorced’ and everything…he is presenting you in the light that you have been chasing him even though he is not interested in you.”

“What the fuck?!” I said absolutely outraged.

“That is not the truth, you know it, he calls and messages me to meet up. You were there and you saw it yourself!!!” I said totally offended.

“I know you are right, I was there and I remember him calling you in front of me, which is why I am telling you don’t hang with him, he has been telling us shit about you.”

What the fuck is this juvenile high school drama!?!

“I won’t hang with him for sure now…but this is really juvenile because if there is a problem he should have just come and spoken to me about it. What’s the deal with bitching like a drama queen and making a scene. We are all adults here…!” I said.

So the shit magnet uses the ‘divorced’ escape route to make himself look like a saint so that I look like the loose charactered-divorced-desperate- without any dignity type woman who is ‘running after him’ whereas he was the one who was actually doing the opposite; witness my caller friend.

What a little willy spermchewer.

Should I confront him? Should I ask him what kind of drama is this?

No. I’m too old for this shit…fuck I’m in my thirties I don’t need this kiddie drama in my life. This is beneath me.

Fifteen days later another friend of mine told me in a casual referential conversation that this fuck face told him not to hang with me because apparently ‘I am not good company’ and ‘because the divorced’ status will make it messy for him’.

The second caller friend also knows me pretty well and gave him a piece of his mind telling him to mind his own fucking business.

NOW he is going to my friends and directly telling them to keep away from me because of the divorced me.

Wao….just ….WAO. This is an adult we are talking about. This is a GUY we are talking about. A guy….a twenty eight year old MAN..GUY…boy man…boy child…no wait..man child.

Dear SpermChewer,

Let me tell you straight - PRAY that you are never divorced in your life - PRAY that you don’t lose your balls along with half of your life’s savings to a divorce - PRAY - that you are not in the same position as me - PRAY you stupid child PRAY because heaven forbid if this shit happens to you - even after what the donkey brain in you is doing what you have been programmed to do which is to insult me and corner me - I will not be a human being to come and empathize with you. I will just sit back with some popcorn and watch karma smack your fuck face while you are asleep.

When will Indian society learn to empathize with people who are struggling with life. Countless women and men being subjected to such judgement for just being in a difficult life situation.

But in the meantime - I hope a tree falls on your little willy and you think of the days you actually called yourself a man.

 

— Image credit: happierwithashu.blogspot.com