Indian politicians really need to get laid

Wait.. I’ve already said that.. When I was young and naïve.

News dawned that yesterday, the Ghaziabad Senior Superintendent of Police raided few hotels and caught around 80 people in objectionable situation.

They were accused under the Immoral Traffic Prevention Act.

I love when they put the word objectionable. It almost makes me object.

Couples reached out to us.

Uncle, are we supposed to be worried? Why did this happen?

Of course it isn’t the first time such gig happens.

We call it a gig because it is a periodical jack of the trade which Indian politicians use to get a quick bout of popularity in front of the masses.

Raid a hotel in the name of morality and call the media to report on the chivalrous acts of the saffron clad stewards of the glorious land of India. Get the hairy masses to cheer up for you. End the day with a glass of milk from a holy cow.

What a quick and easy way to divert the attention away from the problems that truly matter and at the same time get a score from the ignorant masses. Ehm ehm ehm.

As we said before, these raids usually happen under the pretext of sex rackets in budget shady hotels which do not register the guests in the hotels’ guest book nor bother to check and verify a valid government ID proof (read this)

You shall find no budget hotel with StayUncle.

No StayUncle hotel partner shall ever let you checkin without a proper proof of consent of both the guests and hence expose you in the domain of the illegal.

If these conditions are fulfilled the law is at your side and no one can disturb your privacy. We are clear on that.

But something which is not clear is the legal framework on which such acts seemingly rest upon.

Cry upon my destiny Oh, mother for these are the laws your son currently works around:

The Immoral Traffic prevention act (source)

Where are the standup comedians when you need one? I have a company to run you people. I really don’t have time for this.

Across the world you may find normatives that closely relate to preventing human trafficking and sex racketing.

But how on Earth does the world “Immoral” fit in here, in the Indian version of it?

The Immoral Traffic Prevention act on India as you can guess originates from the distant 1954.

It is a quintessential example of old outdated Anglo-Saxon normative, older than my grandmother’s beard.

You don’t come barge in with a piece of paper written “immoral” on it and lock people away from their freedom.

Prevention of human trafficking is one thing. But what on earth means Preventing immoral activities? Who on Earth decides what is immoral and what is not? What is this, a state or my mother’s Sunday liturgy?

I tried to find if any amendment has been proposed to this Act in the past half century. The first and last one was – guess when. In 2006.

No amendments of this tyrannical act has been made for the past 11 years, despite the fact that India at that time was the land of Rajnikant and there was no Savita Bhabi and definitely not the cleavage of Salu Bhai.

I feel like immorally raping an entire city when I see the cleavage of Salu bhai.

And here comes the funny fact #1.

The amendment proposes no significant change apart from increasing the fee for being caught in the act of prostitution from Rs. 2,000 to Rs. 2 lakhs.

Or in other words:

Amendment of Section 3 for sub-section (1), the following sub-section shall be substituted, namely:— “(1) Any person who keeps or manages, or acts or assists in the keeping or management of, a brothel shall be punishable on first conviction with rigorous imprisonment for a term of not less than two years and which may extend to three years and also with fine which may extend to ten thousand rupees and in the event of a second or subsequent conviction, with rigorous imprisonment for a term which shall not be less than three years and which may extend to seven years and shall also be liable to fine which may extend to two lakh rupees.” (source)

Yo bitch. How’s that for a progress!?

And here comes Funny fact #2.

The same amendment has made a strenuous support to define the contributing parties in the act aka the “brothel” the “minor” the “major” etc.. But no effort has been made to finally put a definition of “prostitute”

Can someone please tell me what is a prostitute? I fuck with 5 man and 5 women in one night. Does that make me a prostitute? Yes? No? Arrey, I am bloody confused.

By not doing so or conveniently avoiding to define what is considered a prostitute, the lawmaker can comfortably label even consenting couples as prostitutes, while having a perfect excuse to do so.

And that my friends, is pure insanity.

The way it is, any local tadki police guy can conveniently accuse you for being a prostitute for merely putting your cock into your own girlfriend.

Eat this!

But hey, let’s not leave away Fun fact #3.

The couples caught in Ghaziabad were accused of prostitution. They were prostitutes, all right.

But then if the captured couples were truly part of prostitution and sex racket why were they sent to their parents?

Who sends a prostitute to her parents? No one.

You send a prostitute for rehabilitation center and that too after confirming that she has truly been kept under custody and has undergone traumas.

These young Indians weren’t prostitutes, ladies and gentlemen.

They were normal, loving people who were morally blackmailed using their families as baits in order to turn police men into heroes in front of the cameras.

We’ve seen it many times before. This documentary explains it all:

So let’s not put turmeric powder into each other’s eyes. Please. This was a human rights violation act.

Yo, government of India.. Define what prostitution means. Then learn the difference between sexual exploitation and sexual work.

And most of all learn the difference between prostitution and consensual sex typical for a couple.

Ask the National Network of Sex Workers in India if you need directions. Yes, there is such body, FYI.

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