It’s wedding season.
With wedding drums rolling everywhere, my news feed is getting filled with friends getting married, their perfect DSLR pictures of honeymoon with complete focus on “suhaag ka laal rang”, pre- wedding and post wedding classic photo shoots and endless lovey-dovey status.
Each one of them use to be my classmates at some point and now they have all gone into huge disarray leaving me bewildered.
I am not astonished by the fact that so much is happening but here I am commenting on their posts-“ab toh teri shadi ho gyi. Ab toh life khatam” instead of congratulating them.
I mean what’s wrong with me? Have they grown too fast or did I choose not to grow up with them?
“I don’t want to get hitched, tie the knot, hear wedding bells, or take my man as my husband, but that doesn’t mean I’m judging you if you do.”
Once In my 8th grade my friend asked me – “didn’t you dream of your wedding day as a little girl?”
I clearly remember telling her that-“I dreamed of ending up with Lion-O from Thundercats as a little girl, but a wedding never really played into it, no”.
I’ve never been that girl. The one who society so wants me to be.
I’ve never dreamed of my Prince Charming, or the wedding dress I would one day wear.
It’s not that I think there’s anything wrong with having the goal of earning an “MRS”, I really do think marriage can be quite beautiful and right for some people, I just don’t think it’s for me.
I still hold my 8th grade ideology but that does not mean that I have not grown with time.
I have grown enough to understand that- Its like, take all the holidays you want before you are getting married.
Work as hard as you want before the saat-pheras. And party every Saturday night before you get hitched because once you’re taken, life can never be fun.
But who’s to say whether married life is like a Saturday night or a Monday morning?
It could be either. Or it could be both!
I won’t marry because I am too alone I will marry because now I don’t feel like being alone.
I won’t marry because bunch of aunties and auncles will judge me.
I simply don’t care “vo kya kaheinge” but I do care “vo mere parents ko kya kaheinge”.
I might have too liberal views but why should they listen on my behalf?
And this mere thought almost tried to kill my every aspiration. But at the same time I won’t settle for something that I don’t want.
I have the right and the privilege of being picked. I can’t afford to blame them for the rest of my life.
I would rather be more selfish and choose to settle when I will feel like.
If anything goes wrong, then at least I would be the proud owner of my faults.
As a twenty-something human person, I’m at that age where I am still planning how many days I can go without washing the pile of clothes lying in a corner of my room.
I took a year to finalize the tattoo I wanted to get done which also modified when I actually went to get it done.
And here people are taking decisions about a human being with emotions and mind which keeps evolving and changing. At least I know my tattoo would remain the same throughout my life.
Can I believe the same happens with the person I will settle for (if I ever will)?
I like being the only person who is accountable for my mistakes and being able to take pride in them.
This is the time where I’m supposed to find out who I am, with all the misery and joy that entails.
These marriage notions seem scary to me probably coz I personally have not been married.
But I am sure it would be a beautiful feeling to wake up next to the person you love instead of your cat.
But how much our lives revolve around this feeling is something abstract. And that is what the main block hole is.
So, don’t get married kyunki tumhare sare dost married hai..don’t get married kyunki valentine’s day pe lonely lagta hai…don’t get married kyunki choti behen line main hai..ya ye soch k ki old age mai company milegi…don’t get married kyunki phir maa kab banogi..dont get married kyunki tuhare Ex- boyfriend ki shaadi ho rahi ahi..ye to bilkul mat karna!!
Marry when you find the right person who deserves your time..
I truly do think marriage can be a beautiful thing, but that doesn’t mean it has to be my goal. I am tired of hearing “oh sweetie, you’ll find someone” because the reality is I don’t want to be found, at least now.
After all marriages can wait dreams cannot.
