On a hot Tuesday evening, I found myself in a chemist shop.

I noticed someone buying condoms. That guy was sweating buckets and I wondered what medical emergency does he have?

After looking here and there he finally gathered the courage to speak up-“bhaiya vo hai kya?” Before the chemist could react , I anxiously asked what?

As I wanted to help him in his diseased condition. He grew more conscious and said-“condom hai kya?” Ahh !! that word itself explained all his symptoms.

A nod in the right direction, a quick blur across the counter and a neatly packaged 4×6 box of my purchase was dropped clumsily into his hands like a hot potato. Not without, a knowing nod and a sly smile.

In most of the situations, the guys won’t even say the word ‘condom’ in front of the storewala, but will come up with the different words for it. Chatri, topi, ballon.. really?

Welcome to India, where sex is everywhere

From movies, songs to everything in popular culture.

The world of advertisements is shoving it in our faces every passing moment.

From Katrina Kaif flaunting a drop of a particular drink on her luscious lips to the deodorant commercial where Ranbir Kapoor counts the number of girls who flirted with him because he smells oh-so-great!

And why shouldn’t it be, we belong to ‘the land of Kamasutra’.

Although, whatever runs in our television still does not coincide with the reality of the place where we live in. I mean whom are we kidding, let’s face it –whether it is saying the word ‘sex’ or buying a pack of condom, we suck at everything.

We have a population of 1.4 billion people yet we are scared to say the word ‘condom’ in public.

We should be saying it for the fuck of it. It’s the need of the hour.

Guys can travel to far-off places on their bikes, they can hurl abuses like real pros and they leave no stone unturned to prove their ‘machismo.’ But when it comes to something as simple as buying condoms, a lot of Indian men still get tongue twisted and super awkward. This has landed us to the situation where-

“You go to the store to buy condoms, too many people, so you buy tooth paste instead”

I discovered that going to buy a condom in India is a lot like foreplay for first timers.

There’s a lot of mumbling, stumbling and general cluelessness involved.

It’s like this dirty little secret that the shopkeeper helps you cover up.

He’s kind of like a partner in crime or even worse, a horny uncle. Sometimes, there’s even some pleading involved.

 

The condom company is going out of their way for you. You know how many flavors there are in display? I am always confused whether I am at a pharmacy or Baskin Robbins.

I really don’t see what the big deal is. Just man up, keep your voice steady and ask for that packet of condom.

Although, have you ever heard of condom inside a book? Sounds like a dull title by an author with a slightly unfortunate name and book that you’re unlikely to open.

This company is using the book as a faux-cover to sell condoms which are placed inside this ‘book’. These products are becoming a big market here because guess what- We Indians like buying their sex products online.

It’s evident that while India has taken to sex toys online, our shyness and our inherent reactions continue to remain in the 18th century.

Wouldn’t you rather be safe than sorry? So, don’t let chemists make you regret doing the ‘right thing’.

 

— Image credit: www.news18.com