Okay, quick question. Who all are tired of the Censor Board acting like Big Brother?

No need to answer. That was a rhetorical one.

Even if you don’t watch Indian movies, chances are you might be super fed-up of all the unnecessary censorship going around.

We’ve heard enough about how the kissing scene in the James Bond film was cut to about half its original length by the Censor Board because it was just too much kissing. But what if I told you ‘Spectre’ was one of the lucky ones?

Well, the tragedy is not only with western films.

It is worst in case of Bollywood films. We wonder why we are never able to make it to the Oscars.

Possibility is that some great movie like- ‘lipstick under my burkha’ would have been censored saying- Cigarette se cancer hota hai aur item song se rape hota hai”.

I bet Titanic which still holds the highest records of viewers would have found itself in the list of un-sanskaari movies.

Well, its not just about movies, Famous TV shows like AIB was banned too. When I first heard it in the news I was like –what? Give me a second I need to get the story straight.

AIB made a roast for charity but the old grumps hated it for the most unreasonable reason.

They think their intentions are good but they are trying to sensor art saying –‘Its all an adult drama’.

I know that this is not everybody’s cup of tea but for them I would like to say –“Stop being a prat, snort your crack and stop being such an autocrat.

It is just a roast and no one made you watch the show so, why don’t you just go and watch pogo huh?

We cannot be the country that created the Kamasutra and then show flowers kissing which leads to the birth of a child-Miracle of life? After watching the flower show I say, miracle indeed!

What our censors don’t seem to understand is that getting stuff banned is the best way to get people to watch something as silly as shades of a really boring color.

Censor board’s reaction for one of the western movie’s release in India was -50 shades of grey?

How about none. Because we Indians are shy and we don’t promote sex. This is against Indian culture!

Have a doubt? Come, check our population.

Our sensor board deleted almost every non-cultural scenes and was about to release 50 shades of Sanskaar instead!

Now that’s how badly we are protecting our rich and cultural thinking. Censor board might have said this shit while cutting the scene- “sex kyun chahiye? Sex hi kyun chahiye..karva chauth dikha do”

In fact, TV channels are so scared of the government that sometimes they exercise self -censorship to an extreme level.

Like they blurred out a bra in a movie called “Queen” because men wear ‘baniyaan’ and apparently women wear pixels.

There is no channel on Indian TV where you can watch content freely and I understand the problem. TV reaches people’s living room. India has 1.3 billion people with like different sets of values and culture.

You never know who might get offended by what. But there has to be a way for broadcasting the right content to the right people. And some of the solutions already exist.

Like using the late night slot for adult content or using the child lock features that most DTH providers offer or best just start a separate uncensored channel and charge a premium for it.

If people are paying more to Tata sky HD then I am pretty sure that they won’t mind paying more for a channel like-Tata sky censored or like a dish TV uncut.

That’s what happens abroad as well. And anyway the government shouldn’t have a problem with this because it will reach to the right audience.

The guys in charge of censorship must know that the ’teenager’ that they are trying to protect from these bad ‘western influences’ is already downloading Narcos from uTorrents, discussing atheism on WhatsApp , following Sunny Leone on Instagram and what not.

Oh well, thank the Gods of the Interwebs! Making it possible for movie buffs everywhere to watch anything their hearts may desire - no matter how violent or un-sanskaari.

The self- proclaimed moral police of our society has made it their personal business to project a utopian world on screen. Let’s face the reality, the world is not as perfect as the CBFC would want us to believe!