“No, not today! I am not comfortable. I am tired and need some rest.”
.. pleaded Shreya.” You do this to me every time.
Come on! It’s been quite a while.” insisted Ritesh.
Ritesh was visibly upset. Shreya, as usual gave into his willingness forgetting her own.
Why do you want to write this Nidhi Auntie? This is so normal in India. It is the way we are. The man leads and the woman follows. And everyone is comfortable with it.
Really. Think of something else. There is nothing to ponder about here! Said Shreya, venting out her frustration on me.
No, it does matter. Definitely. Not everyone is OK with it.
Indian mentality needs to change.
Our society needs to realize that there are two genders: Male and Female.
Being a largely male dominated country, in almost every sphere; home, work, society, politics and more, we often forget the desires and wishes of Women. It is high time that we start and fulfill what a woman truly wants.
A woman’s approach to sex is so much different than that of a man.
Just because she doesn’t want it sometimes, or for most Indian men ‘All The Time’ doesn’t imply she won’t ever make a first move for it. Trust me, she will. Just give her a fair chance and stop pouncing on her.
Men don’t have to come marching into a relationship to fulfill all of their sexual pleasures.
Their brains don’t even stop to imbibe how their partner feels in that moment.
The rush is what destroys her: mentally and of course physically.
It is then, that your girl shuts her doors for you.
I asked Shreya, she had known Ritesh for more than five years, why didn’t she abstain a single time?
She replied, “Nidhi Auntie, it’s not that simple. This goes deep. It has worse impact on our relationship.
He stops talking to me, thinks he isn’t good in bed or something and then is very forceful and obnoxious every time we do it in future.”
“I had tried that once in the past. And still bear repercussions for the same, every time I try to refrain.” explained Shreya.
It is not just the case with Shreya and Ritesh. I have heard this story from our other community members as well.
My friends and family confide into me with this. And it hurts me, breaks my heart every time a girl has to take it on herself. Which is more often than you may think.
Holding onto that thought, I fear for might be the dreaded impact of this suppression on our society.
For, how long will women really give in? Isn’t relationship a mutual need for both? Keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn’t leads to making women completely independent.
Because I could not keep all of this to myself. I went ahead and asked our community:
Why men in our country think it is their right to force their wishes on their partner?’
The men, well were astounded. They had no or very little idea about all that was happening with the females. They told me that this was the first time someone had put it that way.
Out of 100, more than 70 agreed that they had never even asked their partner about what her desires are…
Ashok confessed - Men and women are wired differently.
The way we have been brought up, we struggle to open the car door for ladies. We are trained to do it. Being a gentleman is not ingrained in our culture. So, it is difficult. But, I will definitely take care of it going forward.’
Sigh!
- Image credit: Huffpost India
