You can access Part 1 here
It doesn’t matter who you are, where you are from, what you do, how big in the planet you are, if there is one thing that speaks to people from all across the races, places and color, it is the language of a divorce.
In India, for a woman it is more intense (and of course this is not news).
Among other fears, there is a perpetual fear of being forced into another marriage.
“..par tum na… do ya teen saal baad shaadi kar lena..” a statement I received with an advisory expression on the face coupled with a conditioned indoctrinated tone.
“Kyon?” I asked, masking my provocation with genuinity.
“…kar leni chahiye..” he answered.
“Why? You think I can’t survive without being married to someone? I scoffed.
Matlab shaadi karni zaroori hai iss life me ek ladki ko? This marriage didn’t work out, and it has affected me mentally, but still that is not of concern to you, only thing that is nailed in your head is that NO MATTER WHAT, I MUST BE MARRIED??
But why…
Unfortunately the validation of a woman’s existence in the Indian context is defined by her marital status.
I was silent for a few minutes, looking out of the window of the restaurant into the horizon, feeling trapped, suffocated, owned and violated.
Is there no way out of this whirlpool? Do I not deserve freedom? To live life, to breathe, to experience, to discover?
To just live in peace? The way I want to?
To just live?
“You know I agree with you. I SHOULD be married. Right? Then why don’t I just marry a goat?
Who I marry, what I am feeling, where I have come from is not of concern right?
It’s the marital status that is an issue right?
Without that my existence isn’t worth anything. Without marriage I cannot survive this world.
Without marriage I will constantly have some sort of identity crisis. How does it matter whether I have goals to achieve, or accomplishments to make? How does it matter that I am an educated and earning well? But I am NOT MARRIED! OH MY GOD! What will I do now???
So…I’ll just marry a fucking goat. Baat khatam. Whether I live or die after that is immaterial to the likes of you.”
“Perhaps, when you have the courage in your spine to think differently even though you have been living in a cosmopolitan city your whole life, then you might remotely understand what a herd mentality you have had your whole existence.
Till then, please don’t ever see me again. It has been nice knowing you, but I am done with toxic people.”
I am a fucking human being. A whole human being. Rights and everything. All divorced people are, especially women.
— Image credit: Arun Sengupta’s Site
