My boyfriend body shames me

Arushi 2017-03-21 17:50:37 UTC #1

I've gained some weight the the past 1 year and my bf has started to shame me for it. He puts me down and shows me other women around. I have started to feel under confident. We have been going out for a few years and I'm suddenly feeling how superficial he is. He puts me down all the time these days and is putting lot of pressure on me to loose it. I'm feeling unloved. Should i breakup with him?

HunterUncle 2017-03-21 17:53:25 UTC #2

@nikki - Gaining weight and losing it is not a big issue, but to make him realise his mistake should be concern. Even If you think to breakup with him, Make him realise that who you are then move on. (Well there are plenty of ways to get rid of weight, free advice - Cryolipolysis fastest, then exercise and diet) . Just make him realise your value and then you can chuck him off. What you think @Administrator , @SnapDragon44

Arushi 2017-03-21 18:01:37 UTC #3

I don't know if I can breakup. It's been some years we been going out..

HunterUncle 2017-03-21 18:04:03 UTC #4

@nikki - If you do not wish break up and love him, get back to goal, and make him realise. I wish he will be back on track.

SnapDragon44 2017-03-21 18:08:03 UTC #5

First of all, let me admire your courage and thank you for being vulnerable and writing to us.

Secondly, throw his ass out.

I don't know what kind of relationship or understanding you both have had, but let me tell you something- women's bodies are biologically DESIGNED to change through the years because of intense hormonal changes, pregnancy, age related changes etc.
Nobody has the right to shame you. When someone is concerned, you can tell. But from your post it seems evident he is putting you down. He doesn't respect you if he is doing this. If you allow it, today it's body shaming, tomorrow there will be other things.

You are beautiful the way you are. Sure be health conscious but that is something that's your business not anyone else's. You deserve better. This assholic behaviour should not be tolerated.

HunterUncle 2017-03-21 18:10:55 UTC #6

@SnapDragon44 +1 , But he should have made realise his mistake too, right ? Indeed health is wealth and jo fit hai woh hit hai. Beauty is in the eyes of person no doubt, but she should get the respect what she deserve. @nikki

Arushi 2017-03-21 18:11:22 UTC #7

I sometimes wonder if this is a phase, maybe I will loose weight..I should otherwise. I don't know I'm confused.

HunterUncle 2017-03-21 18:12:06 UTC #8

Even If you make goal for losing your weight, It is good for your health too.

Arushi 2017-03-21 18:12:17 UTC #9

I'll give it shot. Maybe it might work.

SnapDragon44 2017-03-21 18:13:35 UTC #10

@nikki give him a piece of your mind I say.

HunterUncle 2017-03-21 18:13:44 UTC #11

Here you go @nikki ! GO for it. Having good health also gives us better soul and well being. Give a shot. There are plenty ways to get back in more better shape, even if that's just for you.

HunterUncle 2017-03-21 18:14:51 UTC #12

@nikki Give him back shot , piece of your mind with UPDATED NIKKI.

@SnapDragon44

SnapDragon44 2017-03-21 18:15:36 UTC #13

Even if loosing weight is a thing for you, it is for YOU. What you are feeling is natural..one tends to take the blame. For whatever reasons you have gained, instead of putting you down he should support you. You are dating him for few years... have you both been serious about this relationship?

HunterUncle 2017-03-21 18:16:49 UTC #14

That I said, It will be two way measure and good for her too. But @SnapDragon44 I feel if the respect is gone, relationship is gone.

Arushi 2017-03-21 18:19:48 UTC #15

Well we have been serious..not light relationship. I would assume he would be supportive instead of turning his face away. This has been a huge revelation and a blow for me.

Arushi 2017-03-21 18:21:16 UTC #16

I'll try my best. Thank you for so much support. Did not expect it here..

Arushi 2017-03-21 18:21:48 UTC #17

I agree with this though..

HunterUncle 2017-03-21 18:23:19 UTC #18

Long way to go @nikki , Life is to move on, there is miles to go before we sleep. Why to have stress ? Think for solutions, Not the problems.

SnapDragon44 2017-03-21 18:25:04 UTC #19

Nikki- weather you have weight or you don't- that is not a criteria for respect. A man must respect a woman for the person she is. THAT is real respect. These superficial things like looks and physicality doesn't last!! Don't wait to gain his respect until you loose weight- that's just wrong!

HunterUncle 2017-03-21 18:26:53 UTC #20

Agree @SnapDragon44 it is not criteria, it is for her, rest she can chuck her. Respect is first always. Rather he should have motivated her than making fun. Thats not good.